Saturday, March 7, 2015

Aikya 2015







The first thing I did after coming home was obviously refresh , narrated some of my energy filled evening to my mother who was mad at my madness on attending concerts/events, but then had dinner , took my pills for my Viral Infection and am recovering by God's grace.

Then settled for writing, ah! how I can control myself from without writing at least a few lines of wisdom from this evening.

I googled for the meaning of the Word Aikya which mean 'Unity , Oneness , Identity with the Human Soul or of the Universe with the deity 'and this was spoken widely today. 

A big womens day this year 2015 with the coming together of my only Fav.Bombay Jayashri Ji and little bit fav: Sudha ji(We travelled together from Chennai-> Bangalore flight in the year 2006 and I spoke to her about Dhyanalinga cassette( No CD during those days) and spoke of songs and what message it gave me , I didn't know ISHA Yoga then, I told her if she can sing Dhyanalinga's 'Siddhar yellam Managukaiyil' song , right there I can sit for meditation, I didn't know anything about meditation then,but I intuitively knew I will meditate. She told me that she can't sing like the way she sang for Dhyanalinga, she also knew about Sadhguru and she has been immensely blessed by God and Guru's, she has been part of all major ISHA events and had the secret of success because of certain blessings which she collected from ISHA by her contributions) .  A few revelations  in the show which we can read as I keep writing.

Let me quick in numbering what I liked and didn't like. Im not supposed to be driven by likes and dislikes because the path which I have dreamt for me , does not have any likes or dislikes , it just have to  be walked upon plainly without any judgements. But still keeping my judgements aside , I wanted to nail down my understanding of this event.

Could have been Better:

1. The show timing was very short - An Hour
2. The two young aspirants who got the rewards though their names were announced, I wanted some more details to appreciate better and pass on some information to youngsters I meet as an inspiration.
3. Still some empty seats on the ground floor which made me worried.
4. Sudhaji cannot do justice to Bhajan's, somehow Sadhguru made her Dhyanalinga Album a hit because of his presence and her life long training in Music. No Offences please, if she sings Dhyanalinga today I don't know how I will respond. Im already hooked to BJ.
5. Usage of Notes by Sudhaji, BJ sang everything by heart , No Notes, that shows BJ's Sadhana.. What a Sadhana?

The Beauty lies in the Eyes of the Beholder:
1. The 29 states Song by Aikya , it was beautiful way of teaching and using visuals and music for learning.
2.I saw Vishwanath Anand and his wife closely today. The world chess champion.. Felt Proud to be Indian just by seeing him( I think its too much to feel brainy about myself just by a glance of him)
3. Sudha ji needed a Dharbai mat cushion to sit and BJ sat on the carpet very comfortably,  no drinking gargle water( I don't know what's it? I have seen all Top Artists drinking it by having a bottle beside them)
4.Kumaresh and Ganesh ji's electrifying guitar - They already rocked in Yaksha 2015, I was there in the Ashram in IYC, two days ahead of BJ's concert , awaiting to hear my GURU BJ and also heard of Kumaresh and Ganesh's ji concert.
5.The bigger Aural Sudha ji was more of a Masculine energy in her voice while BJ was like a soft,just blossomed flower right after the rain, deep and fragrant ( Im not writing this because I like BJ more than Sudha, most of them felt this in the hall) .  One can be free to question anyone, and if they can be honest to themselves, they will be honest to you I hope.
6. I loved the  song on Maya and the last one on Govind Bholo Bhajan. 
7. Records are meant to be  broken , BJ can concentrate more on Bhajan's . Meditative music has a very selective crowd only, Bhajan's are meant for all sorts of people who celebrate- Women's day,Fathers day, Children's Day etc. 

How it looked..

Kumaresh and Ganesh dressed in White were like White Horses , Arjuna being BJ and Krishna being Sudha, the Flag,wheels and the chariot parts were Tabla,iPad Carnatic Musician,Ghatam, I forgot the last one. 

It also looked like 'Tharaasu' weighing scale, and the violin as the equaliser. I think sometime, a jugalbandi in Carnatic itself should happen for rasika's to appreciate music, not with the sense of competition though.

Well, I prefer Krishna being BJ  my secret desire vehemently confessed now.
I think am obsessed with Krishna being born on Krishna's birth star Rohini.

Well, now comes Violin,Voices,Values..

Values we all are entitled to talk/write/live . I loved the narration of each Yuga and the fight between Good and Bad. From Ramayana where fight was between two countries, then in the next yuga it was within the Family(Mahabharata), now in Kali Yuga the fight is within oneself. Surprisingly, I wanted to write a blog on my internal quest and my fight thats been going on for quite sometime now and I found this talk very very interesting because I see it daily within me and question myself too much.

Now lets come to the debating questions.
1. If only Bheeshma took over the throne without the sacrificial bachelorhood, Hastinapur would have had a rich leadership and tasted glory.
2.If Guru Drona did not succumb to 'Money,Power' and instilled values into his son 'Ashwatthama' , his son would not have joined hands with the Gauravas.
3.If the Sutputra 'Karna' would have educated so many masses who are deprived of such an Skill in Archery unmatched with Arjuna.

So the team went to say, One should do good and educate masses and instill values irrespective of how life treats them.

My Answers: 
1.  Bheeshma was tied to Bondage with his father and it resulted in the slippage of Dharma and he turned blind to the Dharma, Duty bound Bheeshma thought his utmost duty is to full fill his father's wish.In Treta Yuga, Draupadi was disrobed, people watched helplessly, is it not similar to the Nirbhayal Case where the two helpless man and women were shouting for help in a highway disrobed by the so called humans. This was Kali Yuga. In all Yuga's this has been happening.

2. Guru Drona having lived in the forest ,  mastered in Archery failed to acknowledge 'Ekalaivya' , he was blessed with a True disciple but he failed to acknowledge. His love for power and money adds more to his desire to become powerful. This was the lesson to every TRUE GURU WHO FAILS TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE DEVOTION OF A TRUE DISCIPLE. His selfishness, asking for  the thumb disgraces such a GURU. Im Ashamed of such  a GURU who is caught within his own desires. This also reminds one, on how to chose one's guru, nevertheless Guru choosing disciple. In this kali yuga, this must be kept in mind. Finally Drona had to Surrender himself to Krishna's request and drop all his weapons and come and sit with head down and allowed to be killed by Arujna. So finally GOD Krishna only saves the Pandavas, not their Guru nor their GURU BHAKTI.

3. Karna the giver, in Treta Yuga Karna has the mind of Kali Yuga, he is caught within the battle within himself. No one recognises his talent, how can this question be asked by the team today ?
If Aikya's talent is not recognised will the team still render this service just like they were doing when they started? We as human beings thrive only based on Acknowledgement, Love that is reciprocated.

If I were Karna , I would not have thought about educating the masses because when my own skill is not to be shown in the assembly of people , How can I teach the masses?. If Arjuna was a Sutputra, will his skill be shown anywhere? Poor Karna, I empathise for him . But not when he remembers Panchali addressing him as Sutputra in her Swayamvar and quenches his revenge during her disrobing.

Because Karna was a Sutputra and only a king can fight a king. What kind of values we are talking about? Only when he has been equalled by giving Title Angraj by friend Duryodhan, he is allowed to exhibit his skill , but then the trickery Krishna grabs all his karma , all Good Karma's as Dhaan and grants a place in Heaven, some stories say Karna was granted MOKSHA.( Im happy for Karna because he was granted MOKSHA , though his entire life was unfair with him). No Matter what one goes through, if MOKSHA is guaranteed , its okay to be go through anything.

If only PANCHALI had a big heart of forgiving, no Mahabharata would have given birth. So Happy Women's Day!!( LOL)


Anita has come to certain terms with life that there is nothing called Good or Bad, just flow with the life, just do what is needed for that moment. Discontented and lost within myself I think i need at least one year seclusion .  Totally beaten up by Violin,Voices, Values. 

For no reason, my mind constantly circulated around Bodhi Dharma.

Over all, it was..

The Voice of Life in Me cannot reach the ear of life in you, but lets talk so that we may not feel lonely. - By Kahlil Gibran

Last but not least:
Some books recommended from Anita's Bookhouse: ( My Personal Library...) 
1. The Difficulty of being Good by Gurucharan Das
2.Krishna by Bhavana Sommaya( A gujarati fiction best seller translated to English)
A must read by every WOMEN even though you love or hate krishna.
3.Bhaghavat Gita by Swami Chitbhavananda
4.Life history of Bodhi Dharma as narrated by OSHO

Video:
Vijay TV showing Mahabharat - Mon-Fri 9pm IST
Thanks for everyone to tickle by brain and help me see myself more clearly. Thanks Once Again! Pranams!





Saturday, February 7, 2015

Talking Blues without Thinking Minds and Judging Hearts

Do you have someone in your life with whom you can talk to without the fear of being judged?

This was the question I was asking people whomever I met for the past few weeks.
Most of them said they have but they don't mind if they are being judged and such people were mostly  their parents, for some its their partners, for some its their friends, for some they said NONE.

If only counsellors and psychologists can come to offer help without being paid for an Session?
Will the need to empathise and offer professional help still be considered professional?
Will it add value to the people's lives if the service of counselling is offered free of cost and done qualitatively.

1. Do we really need that someone whom we can talk to without being judged?
2. If we have one, are we treating them rightly or just dumping our garbages on them?

Today I met my school friends in my hometown, some of them I met after 20 yrs. A friend just couldn't control tears and she told me everyday she dreamt about meeting me and 2 of them whom she hasn't met yet. So in my case its a dream come true for her. After having been married at the age of 16, my friend has a college going son and I see True love and Affection and Care when she asks me ' Is this enough for your lunch?' as I eat my sandwich for lunch since the place where we met only had Fast food .

We have lost a friend who jumped from a running car when coming from chennai to Vellore , the car was driven by her husband and the child watched the mother dead in a few minutes. What kind of Trauma the child must have undergone, leave alone the Adults?

Many of our friends carefully brushed off their tears and laughed their ways and went ahead to carry on with their lives after the get together.

1. Was there  no Time to share? - We spent 2 full hours
2. Where has the Trust that existed 10+ yrs ago as a child disappear when we grew as adults?
3. Where there too many people that no one wants to talk about pain and learnings they had in life - We were only 9 people
4. One of our friend opens up but she was silenced by all since we were in a restaurant
5.Did they  all  have their own struggles as  middle aged women who plays various roles as Mother,Wife,Working Women(House wife,Doctor,Engineer etc),siblings,friends. I categorize House wife also a Working women since she works sincerely for the family.
5. Why is family still important than friendship just because the law does not support friends in INDIA? In the US, one can write off their entire property to a pet DOG and still its VALID..
6. Everyone was busy asking about families and their siblings and not much about them..
7. Will we open up our hearts only in Whats App  - Smart Touch phones and not in Person where one can feel the human touch?
8. Should In Person Meetings be made as norm to continue friendship and revive old ties and bonds?
9. We spoke about friends who have lost their family members and partners and friends who are single parents, such friends don't want to come for our meetings anymore because we never shared their past but we are willing to share our present which is more alive and can lead way to future.
10. Do my friends really have someone with whom they can talk to without being judged?


All these questions are unanswered...

What if a child who wants to communicate cannot find anyone trust worthy? How does the child respond to it?

I recently read about the below in the newspaper  and decided to include this in the Topic.

Child Sexual Abuse(CSA) is one of the most prevalent facts in India where there is easy access to the child inside the family and outside the family.

Some questions to ponder:
1. Is it not the parents duty to educate the child for personal safety just like they teach personal hygiene?
2. If the parents fail, is it not the duty of the teacher who teaches the child, be it in School,Dance Class, Music Class,Karate Class ?
3. If the Teacher Fails, is it not the duty of the immediate family members or the child's friend's family to educate the child ?
4. If all of them fail, is it not our duty as an individual to protect any child whom we find alone or uncared  in a crowd?

I want to write the story of Draupati being disrobed in Mahabharata , where Lord Krishna comes to see her after she locks herself in the giant room in the Castle after the disrobing and krishna rescuing her episode. The doors of the room in which Draupadi locks herself up refuse to open even when beaten by Bheema.

Lord Krishna says that Draupati has a different strength and then uses his divine power to open the doors of her giant room and goes inside and calls her affectionately ' Sakiye'.. My Friend..

So I call for the Lord Krishna to open the doors of all the children and Adults who are Sexually abused as a child . Who else has the strength to open the doors that are locked from outside for which the one who is caught inside is helpless unless someone comes and frees them like Krishna.

Should I call the Krishna to unlock the doors of all the people who are suffering and cannot find anyone to talk to?

May we all awaken the Krishna in us:

Lord Krishna advices Draupati to forgive her enemies and  especially the one who disrobed her. She refuses initially until when Krishna says
1. First she should forgive the one who caused her hurt/disrobed her - She obviously refuses to Forgive.. But Lord Krishna insists..
2.By doing so , he guarantees that Life itself will take the one who has hurt the other towards their destruction

How is it possible?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI9uVRwhPOI - Please Watch

Krishna Speaks:

1. The Offender's heart should be filled with Compassion
2. The Victim's Actions should be performed in such a way that it does not reflect vengeance in anyway

By doing so, can justice be obtained? The Victim who is supposed to have Compassion and forgiveness ,  but gets caught in the vengeance and adopts vendetta .

Karma as seed is sowed and reaped.He goes the way of the Vengence and with the vengeance he tries to provide justice. In the process of obtaining justice, the victim goes off track and gets drowned in the ocean of Vengence.
Rightful Justice and Vengence has only a slightest difference - the name of the Difference is DHARMA. Rightful Conduct at all times. Is it not? Think and Act - Says the Krishna...


Will the child understand this logic explained in Mahabharat when we as adults find it difficult to apply. How will you treat such a child who has suffered any Trauma/Prevent a child?

Whenever  I try to talk about these sensitive topics , am being judged as someone who is unhappy about life ? Can one not free to write about offering help and expressing views on these topics? May be your own child needs help?

In the cold seasons of early morning december in Music Academy, I was talking to a lady who told me that in the US there are people who offer Free hugs? My EGO got hurt and silently questioned me
' Is she saying these because she has one who can  offer hugs to her legally? '.
Does she not know that life can throw her/ anyone upside down in a moment and she can also become the one who can offer Free Hugs for the need of feeling being loved. Not that I wish life throws her upside down. It hurt me terribly to hear these words from a budding vocalist who does not sensitize others feelings, how can her singing convey the emotional aspect if she does not empathise.

Am I Writing/Talking Blues byThinking Minds and Judging Hearts? No.. All I wanted is someone who can listen  for listening is an art by itself.

If you have a child and you feel responsibility towards your child/ Or if you are an Adult and want to offer some help for adolescents in lines of CSA please read the below line:

Check Tulir.org if you need any assistance on Prevention of CSA and treatment of CSA.


Saturday, January 17, 2015

The Hindu Literature Festival 2015

This is my first participation in such an event. I was getting serious about writing recently and I enrolled for a Workshop

Writing What You Know: Using Autobiography in Fiction

A Creative Writing Workshop by Nina McConigley at The Hindu Lit For Life 2015

Some Nostalgic Journey: My Hometown Vellore and growing up as a Child
My father ran a library by name 'Blue Bell' in our home town Vellore. Father was a very creative person. We had the Gramaphone and my father listened to Western Music only. He had a Hippy hair style and bell bottom trousers and would dance like crazy listening to Music.

Both my parents were readers and Daddy had to read best books in his times to buy for our library. We had CMCH, vellore doctors as customers and book reading was so much welcomed in those days. Unfortunately, we closed down since there were no profits. All books were donated to the local library and some to friends and family, schools selling was not easy like in Quickr these days.

Unlike tamil books, my father raised me by buying me MISHA , an Russian Magazine popular in and around1985. So  I grew up reading about Czar's and creative writing. Memory takes me to my first poem 'A Dream of a Fairy' in my school for which I won a prize. I had this in a chart and pasted a fairy and had it stuck in my room for years until the chart withered. Wish we had blogger then, so that I could have seen myself evolve as years rolled by. Technology is a blessing if we know to use it rightly!
Vellore was a small town then, now living in a city I wonder how my father managed to give his best to me. I read more and discussed more with my grandfather , my mothers father. Every week, my grand pa used to get me a book from a library and I would read. 

Today I thank my father and my grand father for kindling in me that aspect of reading and I do love reading and Writing. 

Workshop.. It was a positive experience for me because I was totally out of the Box during the workshop and when we were given time to write , before and after topics . Most of them felt that they just can't be creative in their Autobiography. It has to be written just the way it is, one must be truthful isn't it? 

For me, I felt more accomplished after writing the second writing session. And am wondering what made me feel like that? The only reason was TIME and I was longing for something to happen and I visualised and wrote as if it happened now. I really felt relieved while most of them including criticism and introduced new characters . Learning is FUN for sure and in writing its my experience. 

New Narratives or New Ways of Narrations? Vetrimaran, Vasantabalan, R. Rohini
in conversation with A. Ramasamy
My reflections based on the open talks today at the HINDU PAVILION:

Vasantabalan spoke like a dare devil but the devil who speaks truth and who is interested in giving cinema without violence and Sex. Why is called a Devil? Because without Violence and Sex , thats how the Audience and the Cinema world can treat you? He says no one watched 'Kaviyathalaivan' , everyone were serious about this drama movie which was plotted before independence. I watched it , and I really liked it except for a few sections of the movie. The heroin when she brings out her desire to have a child through the artist so that the appreciating drama and creativity can be inherited, its such an important scene in the movie and there is absolutely empty of emotions. As a viewer, I felt when you wanted to give yourself to your beloved/someone whom you hold highest how should you feel? That was completely missing. He really rocked today!!

Vetrimaran's Courage to apologize in front of all the media and public for his mistakes in the movie Kathi deserves a standing applause. His views lied more on piracy control. 

Rohini - Being a women I appreciate her more because she has come a long way in the cinema world. She is still struggling to release her movie. She openly  spoke about Alternative Narrations of Cinema. A malayalam movie where the step father sexually abuses his daughter and she narrated that scene. I think it must have had a deep impact on her as a women. Because who would talk about this in such a forum when one is given only a few minutes to talk and she has to wait until 3 people finish, Vasanthabalan,Vetri and Ramasamy. This women rocked the stage today!! 

4.15-5.05
Gods, Demons and Others: Amish in conversation with Baradwaj Rangan
I really enjoyed this session because it was packed! Amish just let out the cat from his bag, that he is writing a series :-) . This information should have been out in the Jaipur Literary Festival but it just came from his mouth. He spoke about his writing patterns and how he goes on to live in his own world while writing. He claimed Shiva writes through him, I think much of the best works should have been flowing from a higher consciousness . Some people may agree to it but not many. I have always found that when am writing am totally different. I ponder over my thoughts when I read them later, Did I ever write that? I think thats the case with Singing,Painting,Reading, too.. 
I think becoming one and losing oneself is more than the word 'Passion'. I think it should be called 'Existing'.

Audience was Auh! feeling when Amish said that he ate a lot of Cream biscuits and listened to Music when he wanted to write. Yeah! One does burn up energy mentally and needs to be refreshed I thought laughing with the crowd.

5.10-5.55
Our Plural Selves: Writing Memoirs Leila Seth, T.M. Krishna and Irwin Allan Sealy in conversation with V.K. Karthika
No one is interested in talking about Leila Seth or Irwin when TMK is around. A old man next to my seat asked me 'What do you think about TMK's ideas of taking Music ?'. I told him I can never relate to him in his Music because its very personalised for him, I can feel it . And its like I can't even appreciate that not because I don't  know Carnatic Music but because of the way its emoted. Its my own way of interpreting. He said he never liked the statement he made recently that he doesn't care for his audience and he sings for himself. I told him, may be he is , but I feel its more self centeredness and egoistic way of expressing Music and went about romancing my music love for other singers like Bombay Jayashri ,Aruna,RG etc.
TMK spoke about his book being a memoir and its like a Memory Recall. He says he sees his limitations and evolves as he sings it every time, every time a new truth is experienced. Truth can never be new, its just that the experience of mind that perceives it. Too much of JK's philosophy, No Comments. Im not a Gyana Yogi neither wish to be, Im a combo of all 4- Gynana,Karma,Bhakti and Kriya.. 

Enough For Today!!


Friday, December 26, 2014

PK Movie - 2014



Everyone gave positive reviews about this movie. So my cute little sister booked tickets morning show by 8am for christmas because that was the only availability in LUX, Phoenix Mall,Velachery.

Here you go:

1. Anushka Sharma is simply great looking with her very short dress and free mind and her tomboy behaviour but feminism displayed and portrayed to match the romance in the movie.
2.Sushant Singh Rajput - A pakistani by name Sarfaraaz who works in the embassy who falls in love with an Indian girl Jaggu.
3. Aamir - Child like curiosity I simply love it, most of his questions were similar to the one I have still. Most of the children will have it I think, but they are too busy to focus on the questions. Me being an adult , am focussing more on my questions because I have always focussed on my questions since my child hood though am tuned to belief systems.

I don't want to write the story anywhere  because I want every Indian to watch this movie for sure but will only ask some questions and share my personal experiences on these questions.

1. Where is GOD?
The song 'Bhagwan! Hai Kahan Ho Tum' is intriguing me and so very close to my soul because I always have this question since my childhood and thats why I put my entire life into Seeking the TRUTH.
I read books like ' What Does GOD Want' ? Karma,Death,Buddhism,Heard Sufi Music. Even went to Manikarnika Ghat in Varanasi to see dead bodies and meditated . 

I have heard the song 20 times by now after watching the movie and just can't stop crying when I hear it every time.

2. Religion? God Men? Ashram?
I have searched many GURU's , I don't know if I know anyone who has searched like me. I don't want to write in detail in saying that I have tried rituals from 3 religions, and also created a GOD in ISHA. I have been part of that process also.. So I know that I can be a part of creating a GODDESS and make many people worship it also.

In the recent events at Pondy Aurobindo Ashram, my faith is questioned when I read the newspaper about sisters who committed suicide by drowing themselves into the sea with their aged parents because they were asked to vacate the place where they put their lives into. one of them was being raped by two men full drunk  when she regained her consciousness  and when she was washed ashore, it pains, it hurts... not because am a women but for the faith for the ignorance the faith causes.

My own faith on GOD MEN trembled when I heard that my Guru's daughter was getting married to a carnatic musician and the whole world went to celebrate it. I never went to the wedding and silently cried in my meditation room asking my guru 'I Trust you, what are you going to answer me?  I have put my life for you' while he is busy fulfilling his parental responsibility preaching ' For how many people you can be a father and mother'? Not in terms of what you can do to them? But for acceptance mainly.

Not even once I have met my guru , only the rich and the famous can approach him. But I feel his presence every time I chant a ID created by him , do my guru pooja religiously every monday or any day on the week and seek his feet. All his methods work perfectly if you practice , but my eyes show me something different.

I asked my Yoga teacher in the Ashram a question ' You say if I walk the path of being a Yoga Teacher in the Ashram , millions of life will blossom''.  Yes, it will I knew that but I asked her ' My mother will be shedding tears everyday for me, day and night thinking about me, craving for my good life'. How can that be compensated? she says she left her own dying mother in GURU's feet and claims she died peacefully. Im not satisfied by this answer, I really don't know the Truth and I want to know the Truth.

3. ID? Im a Muslim,Hindu,Christian,Sikh etc..

I think I have already written about it, I don't know how many times it will be coincidental. So don't want to write anymore, I have thought much about it. 

Please do watch.. PK can make you more aware but there is every chance that you might fall into the trap again, including me. Because Faith Rules... Yes, I do wear a rudrakash for my own protection and keep RED kumkum on my forehead and I long for SHIVA the GOD... this is me.. SHIVANGI.. An Angam of SHIVA.. and finally NOTHINGNESS.. 

Read my ramblings on faith in 2007..
http://observationsofmydestiny.blogspot.in/2007/02/faith-what-is-it.html

And yes, I have heard from a trust worthy source that the person who preached this in 2007 does not follow.. So where is Truth? What is being truthful? My Guru says that if you do not cause any harm to anyone that means you are truthful.


But Anita will find the TRUTH one day or the other and be free from this endless cycle of birth and death until then I will burn myself in Sadhana,Atma Vichara,Saranagathi...